last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
