Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
