take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
