shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this just has baby written all over it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
