After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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