i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
