I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
