Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
