she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize