What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
