Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize