OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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