I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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