sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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