By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
