i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
