I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
