Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
