i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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