no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
