guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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