At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
