did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
