There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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