It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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