tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
