The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
