It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
