i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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