But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
