I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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