i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
