Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
