It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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