Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
