I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
