Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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