let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
