ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I didn't notice because vodka
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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