i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
