after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
