Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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