No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
