Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
