I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
