He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
