Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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