please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
