I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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