I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
