come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
