YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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