At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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